Biscuit Bitch—Maybe Not Your Grandma’s Biscuits

With locations in Belltown, Pioneer Square, and Pike Place Market, Biscuit Bitch Seattle is a true downtown Seattle mainstay. Founded by Kimmie Spice, the Head Bitch in Charge, the goal of Biscuit Bitch, beyond preparing delicious breakfast and brunch food, in the forms of biscuits and gravy and biscuit sandwiches, for Seattle’s many locals and tourists, is to provide a bit of Southern charm and hospitality—with a little attitude—to the big city’s downtown scene.

Biscuit Bitch is unapologetic—every food item on the menu is emblazoned by the word “bitch” somewhere in its title. For example, the Straight-Up Bitch, Hot Mess Bitch, Smokin’ Hot Bitch, and of course, the Smokin’ Hot “Seattle” Bitch (with cream cheese). Beyond an enlightened attempt to reclaim the term “bitch” and combat its often pejorative nature, this tactic also serves to spice up the Biscuit Bitch experience by forcing you to say a swear when you order.

And Biscuit Bitch isn’t afraid to be spicy. This is immediately apparent when perusing the menu, if the bottles of Frank’s RedHot hot sauce adorning every table were not enough of a clue. Let’s take one of the more sultry Biscuit Bitch offerings, the Hot Mess Bitch, as an example. The Hot Mess Bitch consists of, of course, a biscuit and gravy, garlic grits, cheese, eggs cooked to order, a Louisiana hot link, and jalapenos. Whew!

But if the above description has you covering a phantom burp or reaching for the antacid tablets, have no fear! Biscuit Bitch has plenty of nonfiery offerings, ranging from the simply savory to sweet, including the Nutty Bitch, made up of a biscuit, Nutella, and banana topped with whipped cream.

In fact, one of the most impressive qualities of the fare at Biscuit Bitch is how they manage to create dishes that are rich but not heavy, hearty but not smothering. Make no mistake, you will be full, but pleasantly and not in that truck-stop diner at three in the morning sort of way. All the food at Biscuit Bitch is made in house, and the care taken in the preparation is undeniable. The biscuits, for example, are both light and compact. The country sausage gravy is warming and decadent without being greasy. And the result might be described as that rarest of culinary manifestations, guilt-free comfort food.

And Biscuit Bitch is also mindful of those of us with dietary considerations. In addition to their traditional country sausage gravy, Biscuit Bitch also offers a vegetarian and gluten-free shiitake mushroom gravy. And for under that gravy, Biscuit Bitch offers each day a limited number of gluten-free biscuits and provides Morningstar Farms veggie sausage patties as a vegetarian option.

Finally, let’s not forget the beverage side of Biscuit Bitch. Biscuit Bitch also operates as a full coffee and espresso shop with many unique offerings, both caffeinated and otherwise, including—that’s right—the Bitch Blend, in collaboration with Seven Coffee Roasters! Biscuit Bitch also offers a cold-brewed iced coffee, appropriately named Bitch Brew, and other cold drinks, including a raspberry lemonade sparkler, concocted from tart lemonade, a splash of sparkling water, and a fresh raspberry puree.

So if Seven Coffee Roaster’s collusion with Biscuit Bitch isn’t enough to take you through one of their three doors, add on to that the convenience of Biscuit Bitch locations, the friendliness of their staff, the hominess of their atmosphere, their affordable pricing, and the downright deliciousness of their food.

A running tagline found on Biscuit Bitch’s website reads, “Trailer Park to Table.” And this may be one of the best descriptions for what has become an iconic local Seattle chain. Biscuit Bitch puts on no airs, other than the tantalizing aromas they waft onto the Seattle streets, and you know exactly what you're getting as soon as you walk in the door. If ever you find yourself suffering from any city-borne inhibitions, one visit to Biscuit Bitch and a healthy helping of down-home goodness will wash them away, and you’ll leave with a full heart and a smile on your face.